Living in a dorm is good for you. Seriously.

Chances are you've probably had your own room for most of your life, and you may have even had your own bathroom.  So the idea of sharing a room with a total stranger can be more than a little daunting, not to mention the thought of sharing a bathroom with four or twenty other people.  Some students then, opt to room with someone they already know, perhaps a good friend from high school.  But is that really the best thing to do?

We have always believed that living with your "bestie" might not be the best idea. For one thing, you often discover you are not as compatible as you once thought you were, and sometimes those newly discovered differences lead to huge rifts in your friendship. There is value in learning to live someone you don't know.  For example, it helps you develop your communication skills, and you learn the art of negotiation. Yes, you can learn those living with someone you do know, but it's not quite the same thing.  Having a roommate that you didn't know in high school can teach you a lot about yourself, and you might end up finding a new best friend. At the very least, you'll meet a lot of new people.

A new book - How College Works by Daniel F Chambliss and Christopher G. Takacs - illustrates the benefits of living in a traditional dorm.  Not only does dorm life help you develop new friendships (one of the biggest concerns for college freshmen), it also is a great equalizer, because you're all starting off on the same foot.  But perhaps the best reason for living in a dorm, according to the author's research, is that "the broad exposure seems to be the best pathway to success."   That is something we've seen time and time again.

For more information on the research into the benefits of dormitory living, visit http://bit.ly/1lcaXWh.

Sexual Violence: a difficult subject

This is a tough subject.  It makes parents, students, and schools nervous and squeamish, and some would rather us not mention it at all.  But it is topic that really needs to be discussed before students head off to college. Therefore we want all students to have the information they need, and we want them to be able to talk about sexual assault knowledgeably and openly. So, here are "5 fact about sexual assault every student should know."

Years ago I remember an alum offering our about-to-be graduates one simple rule: don't ever, ever, ever put a drink down or even turn away from it while it is in your hand.  Ever. As the article states, although alcohol is still the number one "date rape drug," there are many others. So know your rights and know where to turn. Even the smartest of girls can become a victim.  Watch out for each other.

A Summer Reading List

You may already feel like you have plenty to read this summer, but here's a different sort of list put together by college admissions counselors on both the college and high school side.  The list includes books about college admission like I'm Going to College, Not You, a book I highly recommend, and Going Geek: what every smart kid (and every smart parent) should know about college admission, one that is next up on my own summer reading list.  However, the list is not just about college admission and includes some other great fiction and non-fiction options.

Happy summer reading!

Tips for getting a good recommendation

Whether you are in high school or college, you are probably going to need a recommendation from a teacher or professor one day.  It might be for college admission, even grad school, or it might be for a scholarship or job.  But no matter the reason, the tips for getting a good one are still the same.

Somewhere along the way, you need to find a teacher/professor/mentor who knows you well.  Of course that means you have to allow yourself to be known. You have to make the effort to form a relationship.  You also have to be an active participant in class.  That might mean you are constantly involved in discussion, or you're always bringing in new ideas. It might mean that you play well with others.  In other words, you're a good team member. You do your share. You help bring others into the discussion...that sort of thing.

We'll help you take care of the timeline, but it is up to you to work on the rest.

What does diversity mean to you?

At some point during the college process, one of the subjects we talk to our juniors and seniors about is diversity.  Of course that means different things to different people, and that is exactly why we believe it is important to discuss. Initially students mention race or perhaps religion, but eventually they will get around to the idea of economic, geographic, and even sexual orientation.

The reason I bring this up is I'm still thinking about the article on racial tension on college campuses we  posted a few months ago.  I would  like to think that my students are beyond that, but sometimes I wonder.  I'm pretty sure it would never be intentional, but they just don't have that much experience with the topic.  Nor do they really understand gender issues/feminism or what's it like to be around a lot of non-Christians.  They live in the Bible Belt, and some issues just don't come up that often.

I remember a former student who attended college in a much larger city than Chattanooga; it also happened to be in the Northeast, although that may or may not be relevant to the story.  Anyway, she stopped by one afternoon, and as we were talking about the first-year challenges she had faced, she said, "You know, I always thought I was pretty worldly, pretty sophisticated, and I guess I was for Chattanooga, Tennessee. But I really had no idea."

I think about that comment often. I'm not sure my students have any idea, not because they're blind to reality but because they've just never really had to live it.  They are blessed to attend a school that works hard to appreciate differences, no matter what they are; they attend a school that celebrates women and believes they can be anything they want to be.  Yet it's not the same thing as confronting the challenges of living in a diverse world on a daily basis.

My students will be challenged by a myriad of ideas and choices when they go to college.  While I know they have received the academic preparation to be successful, I hope they will also be able to navigate the other issues they will face, and I hope they will meet them dignity and grace. I am not suggesting that they have to agree with all the differences they will encounter, but I do hope - and I believe  - they will not respond with hatred or vitriol.  As I spend several weeks in Germany with a small group of students (they're living with host families), I am cheered to see them acknowledge the similarities and embrace the differences.  More than anything, this trip has reminded me of the importance of getting to know other cultures, other people, first hand.  And after watching my students on this trip, I'm not as worried about their college experience as I might have been.