Giving Thanks

As a counselor at GPS, I have much to be thankful for: my boss, my co-workers (a special shout-out to Claudia and Caroline), and most of all, my wonderful students.  And that doesn't even include my daughter who lets me write about her from time to time and the rest of my family.

But if I needed to be reminded why it's so important to give thanks, the Harvard Business Review offers some well-researched reasons.  So if you haven't thanked that teacher who wrote your college recommendation or the one who stayed after school with you to review your college essay, this is as good a time as any to say thank you.  Of course, you don't have to limit your gratitude to just this one time of year.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! We'll see you in December.

Do young women leave college with less self-confidence?

Though the research is from February 2013, at least one school, Boston College, found that their female graduates were leaving with less self-confidence than when they started.  Body image issues and the hook-up culture were a few of the reasons cited for this, but there is obviously more to it than that.  But this response on the Huffington Post Education Blog is equally fascinating and worth reading. 

It is more important than ever to help girls find their voice - and keep it!

Global Youth Summit on the Future of Medicine at Brandeis

"The next generation of doctors will practice in an environment hard to even imagine just a few years ago. Cutting-edge science is rapidly changing the very nature of health care and medicine. Soon it will be routine to order the complete map of each patient’s genome, and the staggering potential of truly personalized medical treatments for even routine illnesses will be in our hands."  — Steve A. n. Goldstein, M.A., M.D., Ph.D., FAAP, Chairman, Global Youth Summit on Medicine Advisory Board; Provost, Brandeis University; Former Chair of Pediatrics and Physician-in-Chief at Comer Children's Hospital, University of Chicago.

Brandeis University's intensive 7-day summer Global Youth Summit on the Future of Medicine will introduce high school students to the rapidly changing world of health care through experiential learning, guest lectures and networking opportunities with leaders in the global health field.  The admission and scholarship applications are both due January 15, 2014.  For additional information visit: http://www.brandeis.edu/youthsummit/index.html

When you don't get in...

"They are waiting for acceptance. Or for rejection. Somewhere in an unfamiliar room in a distant town, a committee of strangers is passing judgment on these high-school seniors.  Yes or no. In or out. Acceptable or unacceptable."

Those lines are from a column by Ellen Goodman I read many years ago, and it still reflects the anxiety that many seniors are feeling as they wait to hear about their college decisions.  For some of them, this is the first time the answer is "no."  It may be the first time someone will not let them have the one thing they so desperately wanted.  There is very little we can say to make a rejection not hurt so much.  No matter what I say, I'm not going to be able to explain it to a girl's (or her parents) satisfaction. 

This is the only part of my job I don't like.  I understand how hard these girls have worked.  I know the sacrifices they and their parents have made; after all, I watched my own daughter work her way through GPS, and with her, I experienced a rejection letter first-hand.  Like every parent, I wanted the best for my daughter (and still do), and I was almost incredulous that a college wouldn't find her as smart and creative and interesting as I did. 

Although students, including my daughter, don't want to hear it, rejection is a part of life.  As a parent, you cannot shield them from every disappointing life experience, and if they haven't already, at some point, they will have to hear the word "no." And it will be okay. 

That's the real lesson here: it will be okay.

My daughter went on to another college, and she loved it. In fact, she loved college so much, she just keeps going back.  She promises that this is her last go-around, but I doubt it.  Even when she finishes this final degree, I suspect she will return from time to time, if only to take a class in something that has always fascinated her. I haven't asked her, but I think she has forgotten all about that rejection letter. I believe she has found her calling, at least for now.  She just got there by another route.  More important, she is happy, and in the end, that is all that matters to me.

Giving Thanks in the College Season

Whether you are waiting on a college decision, or you are still putting the finishing touches on your application, you have much to be thankful for this year.  You know, for example, that because you attend GPS, you will be well-prepared for whatever college or university you decide to attend.  You have also been fortunate to have so many people - parents, teachers, counselors, friends - help you through this process.  Although you may not always realize it, they've all "had your back."

Wouldn't this be a wonderful time to thank them for their contributions?  In "Six Ways for the College Bound to Give Thanks Before Thanksgiving," the author offers some different ideas on how to that. 

LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCES FOR TEENS - Summer Programs at Brandeis University

The summer months are an excellent time to explore potential career paths, gain valuable work experience and stretch yourself to develop your potential.  Many colleges offer camps and summer programs for this exact purpose. Brandies University High School Programs is now accepting applications for the Summer of 2014! 

Take a look at the links below to see what they are offering this summer. 

3D GAME DESIGN :: Participants will create their own 3D world including but not limited to racing games, questioning games and multiplayer games. 

MOCK TRIAL BOOTCAMP :: An opportunity to work with the best lawyers, judges and law faculty to gain skills in the trial of law. 

BIMA :: An opportunity to explore your Jewish identity while also growing as an artist. 

GENESIS :: An opportunity to study with talented educators who aim to integrate academic and Jewish studies who aim to become active participants in their own global Jewish community. 

For more questions 

Call :: (781) 736-8416     

Email :: highschool@brandeis.edu 

What does it take to get into one of the most competitive colleges?

That's always a tough question to answer.  I could give you the obvious answer: stellar grades and test scores, AP or similarly challenging classes, at least one or two major activities that show some real depth and commitment, perhaps a special or unique talent, or a specific talent the college is looking for in any given year (athlete, musician, philosophy major).  But if you stop and think about it, you know that there are thousands of great high school seniors out there that have all those qualities and then some.

My colleague says it's like playing the lottery.  You have just as good a chance as anyone else, but the odds really aren't in your favor, no matter how many A's or amazing extracurriculars you have.

Perhaps this article from the Stanford University Alumni magazine will help shed some light on the process colleges go through to shape their incoming class.  There are many institutional goals that schools have to consider during the admissions process, so yes, ultimately they end up turning down many very qualified applicants. 

Sometimes you win the lottery, and sometimes you don't.  That is not a reflection on you as a person; you're just playing the odds.  , there are so many other outstanding colleges and universities out there.  Why do we get hung up on just a few of them?

Do you have to drink in college?

I hope this subject isn't off limits; after all, it is one of the realities you will have to face when you go to college.

During a student/parent meeting many years ago, a mother looked at me and stated, "I want her to go somewhere where there is no drinking."  I wasn't sure how to respond, but on the inside I was thinking, "Well, you might as well keep her home then. I don't think I can find a college like that."  But that's not to say you have to drink when you get there.

I'm not going to get on a soapbox and tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do.  However, when I came across this article - "The Sober Person's Guide to Having Fun in College" - I thought it was worth sharing.  Believe it or not, not everyone drinks in college.  Sometimes it just takes a little longer to find the people who think like you do.

The Elevator Pitch

Current seniors have heard all about the "elevator pitch."  In business terms, it is the personal sales pitch you would give to a perspective client or employer, and it is a way to build relationships or network with other professionals.

You can also develop an elevator speech for the college admissions process.  Similar to the description in this article, it is a thirty second introduction that tells a college admissions representative who you are, what your talents are, and perhaps why you would be a good fit for the university.  You can also add a question at the end - something that might keep the conversation going.

It will take some practice in order for it not to sound too canned, but you can do it.  Start by brainstorming some things you might want to say and then prioritize them.  You only have about thirty seconds, so you cannot say everything.  What is the most important quality you want someone to know about you? What is the most important question you have about the college?  Try your speech out on your parents, your friends (the ones who won't think you're crazy).  We'll be working on these during second semester college classes, so get a head start and begin working on your elevator speech now.

Why can't new grads get hired?

To some I'm sure I will sound old-fashioned by agreeing with this article, but it has some valid points.  I often see students who show up to college information sessions, interviews, or campus tours in clothing that looks more like it was meant for the beach.  I'm not advocating dressing up for a campus tour, but I do think students have to think about the image they portray by their dress.

The author of this article, of course, isn't talking about college, but she does (briefly) mention the way potential job applicants dress for an interview.  It jumped out at me and reminded me of a recent trip to the mall when I saw a young woman completing an application for employment at one of the retail stores.  She had on shorts and a tank top - not what I would consider retail smart.

But let's get to the good stuff! What are employers looking for?  According to the survey mentioned in the article, they are looking for communication and interpersonal skills, team players and problem solvers.  They want people who can write well and prioritize and organize their work.  Do you have these skills, or are you working on developing them?  I hope so.

Happy Friday, and happy November 15th to everyone.  Another college deadline down. We're nearing the application finish line, so hang in there and have a good and safe weekend.

When does the college process begin?

For years I have resisted talking about college with freshmen and sophomores, not to mention middle-school students.  I thought - and still do - that ninth and tenth graders should simply concentrate on being the best fifteen or sixteen year old they can be.  I have given in a little over the years, meeting with freshmen to discuss the importance of getting involved in the extracurricular life of the school and having lunch with sophomores to do an abbreviated college case study; otherwise, our contact is limited, and I've wanted to keep it that way.  Lately, though, I've been wondering if I'm giving my students short shrift, because the reality is, the college process really begins on their first day of high school.

Even as freshmen, the decisions they make during their first year of high school will make a difference.  The courses they choose, the depth of their involvement in activities, whether in or out of school, will have a bearing on where they can apply to college (or rather where they can expect to get in). Academically, they need to get off to a strong start, and if they run into trouble, they need to learn to seek help, ask questions, and/or improve their study skills.  I have to be honest; by the end of a student's sophomore year, her GPA will tell me a lot about where she should apply to college.  Of course, schools will always look for upward trends, but it is unlikely that a student with a 3.0 after two years of high school will be admitted to the more selective colleges, even if her grades do improve.  Yes, there are always exceptions, and certain students may fit a college's targeted population (athletes, minorities, first generation students, legacies).  So don't I have an obligation to make sure students know all of this early in their high school careers?  I think the answer is yes.

My problem, however, is that I also don't want to add to any worries about college that they already have.  Many of our freshmen and sophomores have ideas about which university they want to attend, but I have seen the glazed look in their eyes when I gently let them know that a 3.59, 1300 SAT, and being captain of the soccer tam, not to mention their amazing service work still may not be enough to get them into the school of their dreams.  Do I like it?  Absolutely not.  I do not like what college admissions has become.  I know that there are many other schools out there for our students - schools where they can be wildly successful and happy.  But sometimes that name recognition gets in the way, and they don't want to consider those schools.

So what do I do?  I want my girls to know that it's okay to be who they are.  I want them to be their best selves.  I want them to know that they are good enough...no, even better than that.  I want them to understand that they are more than their GPA or test scores.  They are amazing young women who are in the process of discovering who they are , what they love to do, what they might want to be ten or twenty years from now.  And if they are happy, then I am happy.  Yes, I will make sure they know that even as freshmen, they are building a résumé for college.  But that résumé should be about who they are, not what (they think) a college wants them to be.  

It's kind of like the quote from the movie Field of Dreams:  "If you build it, they will come."  Be who you are, and the right colleges will find you.

If I've said it once.....

This isn't the first time I have posted an article about the use of Facebook, Twitter, or other social media sites in the college admissions process.  But if you didn't get it the first time, you might want to read this article from last week's New York Times.

While you might want to argue about whether colleges should track college applicants on-line or not, it is clear that at least occasionally some of them do.  You can complain about the fairness of this tactic, or you too might want to create a second account or change your name to protect yourself (that seems a little silly to me), but your on-line presence is something everyone should consider.

Preparing for the FAFSA

Attention parents of seniors!  Beginning January 1, 2014, you may begin completing the FAFSA or Free Application for Federal Student Aid.  Most, if not all, colleges require this form for students who are applying for financial aid.  In addition, any Tennessee resident who wants to receive the lottery scholarship must complete this form, regardless of income.

To save time, you might want to register for your PIN number before January rolls around.  Students and parents may register for a PIN, but please put that number in a safe place, because you will need to reapply for aid every year using that same PIN.

For more information about the PIN and to apply for yours, visit the US Department of Education website: http://1.usa.gov/1geCLvO. 

We will continue to post information/instructions for completing the FAFSA as we approach the new year.

The Financial Aid Debate

Check out the "Room for Debate" section of The New York Times.  It's all about financial aid - who should get aid, better ways to calculate aid, and creative ways to pay for college are just some of the topics discussed.

How many is too many?

At our recent college program for juniors and their parents, I was asked "how many colleges should a student apply to?"  It was a difficult question to answer that night, because like so many other questions relating to college, that answer is "it depends."

There is not a 'one size fits all' answer for this question; it really does depend on each individual student.  However, I will offer some suggestions.

1.  Begin by creating a balanced list. Start with a few foundation schools (sometimes called safe or likely schools) that you really do like.  One counselor I know calls these your 'star schools,' the ones where you will likely be a star.  Then start layering.  Add some 'possible' colleges - schools where you have a good chance of being accepted, but they're necessarily safe bets.  Then you can add a few reach or more competitive schools.  The odds might be long, but you are at least in the ballpark.  You never know; sometimes those reach schools work out.

Try to avoid 'double-reach' schools however. I think you know what I mean by that, but those are the colleges where your academic profile really doesn't come close to what the college's profile is (think GPA, course rigor, etc.).  Filling out applications for those colleges really will be a waste of your time and energy, not to mention money.

One more consideration: I always recommend that students have one or two safe financial schools as well.  Those may be the same as your foundation schools, but you need to know that you can afford at least one of the colleges on your list if nothing else works out.  So while there is no magic number, start with a list of 8 to 10 (maybe 12) colleges. But also know that if, after consulting with your parents and your college counselor, you determine that two or three schools are enough for you, that is perfectly okay too!

2.  Use Naviance and talk to your college counselor when creating your list.  We have a wealth of statistical history that can help you figure out how you compare to other students who have applied to specific schools.  Plus your counselor has some great anecdotal information as well.

3.  You should be able to explain why all of the colleges on your list are right for you.  No superficial answers allowed - things like they have a good football team or my mother went to school there.  Colleges may ask why the school is a good fit for you, and you should be able to answer that with specifics.  Stop and ask yourself, "does this school fit my academic, social/emotional, physical, spiritual needs?"  There are other characteristics you might be considering, but in the end, your college should have what it takes for you to be both happy and successful, and you should be able to articulate your reasons for applying.

4.  I have had seniors apply to twenty or more colleges, and I would argue that not only could they not  answer "why is this a good fit for me" question for every school on their list, but at some point, they ran out of steam when completing all those applications.  Ask yourself if you have the time and energy to fill out applications for all the schools on your list.  Even if you are using the Common Application, there is still a lot of work to do.  By the time you get to #10 or #15, will you still care enough to do your very best?

5.  Avoid panic applying.  I wrote about this recently, but panic applying is when you let your anxiety over the process get the best of you, and you start randomly adding colleges to your list.  If you have done your homework, you will be okay.

These are all reasons why we stress that the college search should be a thoughtful and purposeful one.  It takes a great deal of time and introspection to get it right.  The good news, however, is that your decision is not irreversible.  If you end up at the wrong place, you will have other options.  Remember what we said at our junior program: this is not a life and death decision.  Be realistic. Be calm. And be thoughtful.