As we await the first round of decisions for those girls who applied early action or early decision, I am always reminded of the reality of this statement. Were you "accepted" or "rejected?" Are you in or are you out? It is probably the one thing about my job I dislike the most, because it is so difficult for teenagers not to see this as a referendum on themselves, and many of them cannot help but compare themselves to their classmates and friends. I wish they wouldn't.
"These acceptances that come by mail are not some final, or even critical, judgment," said Ms. Goodman. "Those of us who have been through other seasons know that. But they come at a vulnerable moment, at the edge of adulthood, when the young are just about to become full-fledged owners of their own lives. The letters come delivering tickets that lead in a hundred different directions."
The truth is there is no perfect college. There is no one school that will fulfill all your dreams. Wherever you go, it will be what you make of it. You will find friends if you look for them, if you are willing to put yourself out there and let them find you. Some of our girls may be thrilled this week as they open those letters (although they're emails now); some of them may be very disappointed. As parents and teachers and counselors, we know how truly wonderful our girls are, but it will still hurt.
As Ms. Goodman goes on to say "For the very first time, inseparable friends opening those envelopes may feel the chill of distance. For the first time, a class of mates may really understand how our world tries to subdivide their future." So as I recently told the seniors, celebrate the good news but be aware that one of your classmates may not be so lucky this time around (she will be just fine later on though!) And as parents, don't put too much emphasis on this process. Come May 1, all of our girls will have a home.
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