Heading Off To College...It's Never Too Late!

College freshmen across the country have been transitioning through the American rite of passage into adulthood – moving from home to dormitory – for several weeks.  Cars are packed full with far more stuff than can comfortably fit into a shared 14 x 12 residence hall room.  Excited students will finally meet face-to-face, months after virtually getting to know one another via social networking sites. Parents are panicked – contemplating the most important final piece of sage advice to share with their daughters and sons before leaving them at their new home – University Hall, USA. 

I embarked on a similar journey last June as I packed a suitcase full of “college clothes”, assorted kitchen essentials and inexpensive sheets for an extra long twin bed.  But instead of hugging Mom and Dad goodbye, I boarded a plane in Chattanooga bound for Buffalo, leaving my husband and two tween daughters for what seemed like an impossibly long two weeks. Twenty plus years after graduating from college, I decided to finally begin work on an advanced degree, pursuing a M.S. in Creative Studies from SUNY Buffalo.  The program is a hybrid which combines summer sessions of intensive, on-campus classes with academic year online courses; an ideal combination for an educator who is old enough to be a bit nervous about learning exclusively online.  Since I guide high school students and their parents through the college search process for a living, I thought I had a pretty good perspective on the transition to college.  And I do – for 18 year old girls, but not necessarily for middle aged moms!

 

I wasn’t expecting to experience homesickness and uncertainty.  Had I made the right decision in going back to college?  Would I be able to balance work/school/family?  Could I generate 10-12 pages of original thought to complete not one, but two papers that conformed to APA style format?  The answer to all those questions proved to be a resounding “yes”, confirmed by the two “A’s” I am proud to share I earned. 

As I begin a new school year, meeting with anxious seniors who are starting their college applications, I do so with a fresh perspective and a kindred spirit. I can better understand students’ nervousness about writing the all important college essay after writing my own “personal statement”.  As I read a text message from my niece who couldn’t find the admission rep scheduled to meet her at the airport when she landed 1500 miles from home, I commiserated, remembering searching for my own driver when I landed in Buffalo at 11:30 pm.  Change - even for those that welcome it - is still hard and stress is the very real outcome of both positive and negative life experiences. 

 So what have I learned after living in a dorm, sharing a suite with three women who were very different than myself and bonding with 25 classmates from around the world?  That being on your own – completely on your own – is scary, exhilarating, intimidating, and empowering, all at the same time.  That taking risks is the only way to stay young and grow.  That gaining new perspectives is imperative to understanding both yourself and others.  To all the college freshmen and their parents, I applaud and congratulate you.

 My advice?  Go to classes and don’t surf the web while sitting in lectures.  Remember that mac and cheese isn’t a vegetable and that the famed “freshmen fifteen” can creep on very quickly.  Keep your dorm room door open – playing lively music - to invite guests and conversations.  Attend the Club Fair and get involved, trying something entirely new just because it’s available.  Smile as you walk across campus and remember that every student was once a freshman who got lost looking for classrooms.  Finally, and perhaps most importantly, balance is critical for success so study and play equally hard.  Good luck, Class of 2018!