Can I drop my history class now?

Just like Christmas comes every year, so does the question "Is it okay if I drop by history class next semester?"  Substitute science or math in place of history, but the point is seniors start asking if they can change their schedules.  My answer is almost always "no."

Most of the time, students want to drop an academic class for something, well, something they consider to be much easier.  It is, after all, second semester of their senior year, and they are ready to take it easy.  But college admissions wise, it is not a good idea.

Why do we say no? If you change your schedule after your transcript has been submitted, you will need to notify your colleges of the change.  (If you don't, we will.)  Before you make the switch, imagine sitting with the committee who will be discussing whether to admit you or not.  Most likely it will look to them exactly like it does to us...that you've started your senior slide.  Is it really worth it?

The senior slide is a very real thing, but we want to remind you that your acceptance is conditional, as in, they can take it back.  Colleges want to see the same student at the end of the year as the one they accepted in the first place.  So Santa says stick with your original schedule and keep studying.  In the long run, you will be glad you did.

Denied.

Yesterday a student stopped by to tell me she had been denied [at a very selective college]. Actually, her exact words were, "I've been rejected."  Somehow I think "denied" is a little bit of a softer word to use, but to her, it was a rejection, and it felt as personal as the word sounds.

I went through all the usual platitudes: It's really not a referendum on you as a person, the decision doesn't mean you are not good enough, another school will be lucky to have you, life will go on, etc., but at that moment, she wasn't listening to me, and I don't blame her.  From the beginning, we both knew it was a long shot because the university is so competitive (as in a single digit acceptance rate), similar to winning the lottery.  She and I discussed that, but just like the people who buy a powerball ticket, the little voice in the back of her head told her she just might be the lucky one.  That's what it comes down to for high school seniors - winners and losers.  

I hate it.

So when I read this article this morning - Rejection Hurts: How to Handle a College Not Accepting You - I thought it was worth posting.  Maybe it simply contains more of the platitudes I gave her, but they are true and worth trying to remember.  It isn't personal, and life does goes on.

Now if I could just help seventeen and eighteen year olds understand that.

You're So Much More

In light of yesterday's post, I think this article on "What Your College Decisions Won't Tell You" is particularly timely and meaningful.  Regardless of whether or not you applied ED or regular decision, it is important to remember that you are so much more than your college decision.

Dreaded December News

December is a very tense month for some high school seniors.  If they applied early decision, they are now days away from receiving their decisions, and to make matters worse, they are preparing for exams as well.  It is enough to drive students, parents, and counselors crazy!

So here is something for you to remember.  This is not a decision on your value as a person.  It is not a judgment on how you've been raised or what you have done with your life so far.  You are - and you know this - so much more than a GPA or a test score or an activity, and you have the rest of your life to show people how meaningful and wonderful your life will be (although you really don't have to prove yourself to anyone!)

That is a very difficult thing to remember this time of year, because despite what we say, it just feels personal.  We get that.  But when a college or university only accepts 5-10% of its applicants, then how can it be personal?  As this audio advice reminds you, your identity is not that of a college applicant. You are a human being first.

So, what happens if you are deferred or denied?  Listen to the audio for some great advice from high schools students who are in the same boat as you are.  There's also some spot-on advice on what to do if you are deferred (it's the same thing we always tell students to do).  But let me add, that if you are denied, take the time to be angry or mourn if that's what you need to do.  Eventually however, you will need to move on and focus on all the wonderful possibilities that are waiting for you.

Easy for me to say, I know, but maybe it is time to practice being a "glass is half full" kind of person. It will all work out in the end.