Denied.

Yesterday a student stopped by to tell me she had been denied [at a very selective college]. Actually, her exact words were, "I've been rejected."  Somehow I think "denied" is a little bit of a softer word to use, but to her, it was a rejection, and it felt as personal as the word sounds.

I went through all the usual platitudes: It's really not a referendum on you as a person, the decision doesn't mean you are not good enough, another school will be lucky to have you, life will go on, etc., but at that moment, she wasn't listening to me, and I don't blame her.  From the beginning, we both knew it was a long shot because the university is so competitive (as in a single digit acceptance rate), similar to winning the lottery.  She and I discussed that, but just like the people who buy a powerball ticket, the little voice in the back of her head told her she just might be the lucky one.  That's what it comes down to for high school seniors - winners and losers.  

I hate it.

So when I read this article this morning - Rejection Hurts: How to Handle a College Not Accepting You - I thought it was worth posting.  Maybe it simply contains more of the platitudes I gave her, but they are true and worth trying to remember.  It isn't personal, and life does goes on.

Now if I could just help seventeen and eighteen year olds understand that.